Goodbyes

I cant believe how fast this whole experience has gone. I feel like I was just meeting these sweet kids and girls I serve with and now its time to go home. It was hard saying bye to all the kids, but it was even harder when they knew that you were leaving and wont ever see you again. I was at Casa's one day and putting cute little Carlitos to bed. Carlitos had only been there 3 days prior to this. I hugged him and told him in my broken spanish that I had to go home to the States. He started crying so hard and woulndt let go of me. This was so sad! I cant imagine how hard it is for these kids to lose volunteers, goodbye has a whole different meaning to them because they had to say goodbye to their parents. Im sure he has a fear of being alone and thats what makes it that much harder to leave.
          My last time at Remar I was playing with a girl named Jiovana she is about 9 years old. She was getting my all ready and doing my hair and pretending to put make up on me. They love to do this. She was plucking my eyebrows with her fingers and putting the eyebrow hair on her thumb then she would touch it to my thumb. Not having a clue what she was saying she said some little chant and blew on it. When she let go if it was on my thumb she would be sad but if it was on hers she got all excited as if the wish would come true. She would say things to me and I would just answer "Si" because thats pretty much all I could say. I always got frustrated with the language barrier. Later we went inside to look at some new bunk beds that OSSO had made for them. I was with another volunteer and Jiovana said "is that where you are going to be sleeping?" Linnea answered no those are for you. We have to go back to our home in the states. Jiovana got this sad look on her face and turns to me and says "you promised". Right then it all clicked what she had been wishing for. She wished that I would be her mom. Me not knowing any spanish or what she was really doing answered "Si".. she hugged me and cried. Talk about heart breaking right!?  I have never felt so horrible in my life. All these poor children want are families and someone to love and take care of them. I wish I could give them all the life that I have been given.
           It was almost easier for me to say goodbye to the babies then the older kids that understand you wont be coming back. It is comforting knowing that OSSO will always be there. That there will always be volunteers coming in and loving these kids. We are not just leaving them with nothing.
           Coming into this I had no idea that I would make as good of friends as I have with the girls that I served with. I learned so much and had so much fun with these girls. It was soo hard leaving them. Some of my good friends still had another month there. I am so greatful for this experience and the people I met and the kids that touched my heart. I deffinately have a different outlook on life and what really matters in life.